Barely Adventist

• nieuwReport: BRI Does Nothing But Play BibleOpoly All Day
      BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. --- A compliance committee investigation into the daily activities of the Biblical Research Institute staff has revealed that the team of Read more [...]
  - 31 mins ago 17 Jun 19, 12:12am -
• nieuwLoma Linda Blue Zoner Busted Eating Cheeseburger
    Loma Linda, Calif. --- Bill Worthington, one of the faces of the Loma Linda Blue Zone, was busted by veggie cops yesterday as he was devouring a cheeseburger for the very first time. Read more [...]
  - 24 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 12:54am -
• Adventists Launch Alexa-Like “Ellen G.” Advice Pod
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- As of this coming Monday, ABC stores will stock Ellen G., an Alexa-like advice pod brimming with Ellen G. White's advice on just about every life issue. Unlike Alexa Read more [...]
  - 2 days ago 15 Jun 19, 12:19am -
• Adventist Colleges Replace Campus Security Officers With Robots
  ADVENTIST WORLD --- In a bold, blanket move, Adventist colleges have replaced all campus security personnel with robots. Although the initial capital outlay has forced a substantial tuition Read more [...]
  - 3 days ago 14 Jun 19, 2:51am -
• Instagram “Adventist” Filter Removes Jewelry
  MENLO PARK, Calif. --- A new "Adventist" filter released by Instagram allows church members to automatically edit out jewelry from their pictures before posting them to the platform. Instagram Read more [...]
  - 4 days ago 13 Jun 19, 1:08am -
• 3ABN Airs USA vs. Thailand Without Score
  WEST FRANKFORT, Ill. --- In an Adventist first, the Three Angels Broadcasting Network (3ABN) aired a FIFA Women's World Cup game. The Adventist network agreed to air the USA vs Thailand soccer Read more [...]
  - 5 days ago 12 Jun 19, 3:49am -
• Lifelong Adventist Accepts Christ
  LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Martha Dogood has spent the entirety of her life in Loma Linda and is the current world record holder for personally-earned Pathfinder honor patches (they fill up seven Read more [...]
  - 19 days ago 29 May 19, 4:19am -
• Magic-Free Adventist Screening of Aladdin Lasts Five Minutes
  BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- An Adventist-appropriate version of Disney's live action Aladdin re-make was screened on the campus of Andrews University last night. The screening, which took place Read more [...]
  - 20 days ago 28 May 19, 5:54am -
• Michigan Conference Pedometer Measures Sabbath Steps
  Lansing, Mich. --- In an effort to enforce Sabbath observance guidelines, the Michigan Conference is distributing pedometers that will measure steps taken by Adventists on Sabbath. Pedometer data Read more [...]
  - 24 days ago 23 May 19, 1:02pm -
• Adventist Churches Install Cell Phone Signal Blockers
  ADVENTIST WORLD ---  Adventist Churches the world over are installing cell signal blockers to combat chronic member distraction during services. "I am sick of hearing members say that they Read more [...]
  - 33 days ago 14 May 19, 5:55pm -

World of Buzz

• nieuwFormer Garbage Dump Worker Receives Full Scholarship to University of Melbourne
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/former-garbage-dump-worker-receives-full-scholarship-to-university-of-melbourne/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and…
  - 9 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 3:48pm -
• nieuw82yo Uncle Goes Missing for 8 Days, But Finally Reunites with Family on Father’s Day
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/82yo-uncle-goes-missing-for-8-days-but-finally-reunites-with-family-on-fathers-day/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property a…
  - 12 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 12:56pm -
• nieuwStingray Found Dead With Stomach Containing a Book, a Camera, a Bottle, and a Packet of Cigarettes
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/stingray-found-dead-stomach-containing-book-camera-bottle-packet-cigarettes/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copy…
  - 12 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 12:35pm -
• nieuwLecturer Job Requiring Master’s Degree Only Pays RM1100 in Kelantan, Netizen Complains
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/lecturer-job-requiring-masters-degree-only-pays-rm1100-in-kelantan-netizen-complains/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property…
  - 12 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 12:26pm -
• nieuwThis Chinese Man Invented a Upside Down HAIR Washing Machine for Lazy People!
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/this-chinese-man-invented-a-upside-down-hair-washing-machine-for-lazy-people/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and cop…
  - 16 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 9:06am -
• nieuwMan’s Bald Head Is Too Shiny for Passport Photo So Immigration Officers Cover It with Panels
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/mans-bald-head-is-too-shiny-for-passport-photo-so-immigration-officers-cover-it-with-panels/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual p…
  - 16 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 8:50am -
• nieuw“Sorry, Abang”, Boy Cries When He Got Scolded For Motorbike Racing Without Helmet
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/sorry-abang-boy-cries-when-he-got-scolded-for-motorbike-racing-without-helmet/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and co…
  - 17 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 8:10am -
• nieuwChinese Woman Charged For Poking And Stomping On Endangered Sea Turtle Nest
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/chinese-woman-charged-for-poking-and-stomping-on-endangered-sea-turtle-nest/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copy…
  - 17 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 7:51am -
• nieuw6yo Boy Severely Injured When Window Falls From the 20th Floor and Crushes Him
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/6yo-boy-severely-injured-when-window-falls-from-the-20th-floor-and-crushes-him/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and c…
  - 17 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 7:38am -
• nieuwParents Abandon Serdang Siblings With Relatives and They Get Tortured and Starved
  The post https://www.worldofbuzz.com/parents-abandon-serdang-siblings-relatives-get-tortured-starved/ appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by re…
  - 19 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 6:00am -

Dave Berry's Blog - Grappig Nieuws

• nieuwHAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DADS
  Enjoy it responsibly.
  - 10 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 2:21pm -
• BEFORE THE INTERNET, THIS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE
  A motorist named Kevin Bacon was on his phone “using an Internet search engine to search for a specific episode of the 90's television sitcom ‘Saved by the Bell’” when he sideswiped a Vermont police car that had stopped to...
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:41pm -
• THEN ON TO FLORIDA
  4-year-old drives great-grandfather’s SUV to gas station for candy (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:38pm -
• MEN:
  Do not click here. (Thanks to pharmaross)
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:35pm -
• BOLO
  Red Oak Police searching for package thief who was carrying a duck (Thanks to Ralph)
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:28pm -
• SOUNDS PAINFUL
  Tararua man cuts phallus from carving representing Rangitāne whakapapa (Thanks to Andrew Simmons)
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:27pm -
• ‘ALL I CAN SAY IS MONEY IS MISSING’
  Nigeria zoo probes reports of cash-eating gorilla (Thanks to Howard from Broward) We saw Cash-Eating Gorilla open for the Cowsills.
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:25pm -
• JUST A REGULAR BEER FOR US, THANKS
  You can now get drunk on peanut butter (Thanks to Thomas Warburton)
  - 1 day ago 15 Jun 19, 2:22pm -
• AKA RUSH HOUR IN MIAMI
  Video Of A Tank Running Over A Car At Full Speed (Thanks to John Lobert)
  - 2 days ago 14 Jun 19, 4:38pm -
• THESE KIDS TODAY
  People Are Having Sex While Wearing AirPods (Thanks to Rick Day)
  - 2 days ago 14 Jun 19, 4:34pm -

News Biscuit - Grappig en Fake News

• nieuwDocument discovered on train ‘not ours’ insists Farage
  A document found in a briefcase discovered on a train have left the fledgling Brexit Party looking red-faced as it appears to be a record of the minutes of a meeting chaired by Nigel Farage, at which the party’s inner circle discussed its manifesto…
  - 9 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 4:00pm -
• nieuwMP’s to stop voting as the people already voted in the referendum
  This decision comes after universal condemnation of calls for a People's Vote, a term invented exclusively to label those who voted in the referendum as less than people. Despite this being a slight on Remainers just as much as Brexiters, as both gr…
  - 11 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 2:00pm -
• nieuwMcVey followers on the run
  Police were today hunting for 9 people who are suspected of having voted for Ester McVey as the next Prime Minister. The 9 who have not yet been named are said to be highly dangerous and probably mentally unstable.
  - 14 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 11:00am -
• nieuwThe average Tory voter is ninety, n-n-n-n-ninety, ninety. More later.
  
  - 14 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 10:51am -
• nieuwAdvertisement Feature: Get your commemorative pair of ‘Invasion of Privacy’ Royal jugs
  Well crafted, solid, but smaller than you might think, these jugs come decorated in the finest silver and gold to celebrate a fine pair of Jubilees.
  - 16 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 9:00am -
• nieuwChange UK claims success as it changes name again. More later.
  
  - 17 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 7:52am -
• nieuwBrexiteer with rotten tooth denies wanting ‘no-anesthetic’ extraction
  'I am fed up with idiots suggesting that I would prefer not to have any anaesthetic,' said Jake O'bree-Smug, a long-suffering dental patient who is desperate for freedom from further pain. 'Obviously I would prefer the extraction to be as painless as…
  - 19 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 6:00am -
• nieuwCorbyn announces plan to nationalise illicit drugs: ‘There’ll soon be shortages’. More later.
  
  - 19 hours ago 16 Jun 19, 5:16am -

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