Barely Adventist

• nieuwSouthern Declares State of Emergency as Marriage Rate Dips
  COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. --- Southern Adventist University has declared a State of Emergency after what administration described as a "troubling drop in marriage rates among our students." The school's Read more [...]
  - 12 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 11:50pm -
• Game Show Launched: Who Said It – EGW or the Bible?
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Hope Channel has just launched a new trivia game show titled "Who Said It - EGW or the Bible?" The show is an effort to clear up Adventist confusion about the origin of Read more [...]
  - 15 days ago 5 Feb 19, 11:02pm -
• GC Commissions Adam Levine’s Tattoo Artist for Beast of Revelation Illustrations
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Immediately after Maroon 5's performance at this year's Super Bowl, the General Conference commissioned Adam Levine's tattoo artist to do what it called "cutting-edge apocalyptic Read more [...]
  - 16 days ago 4 Feb 19, 1:23pm -
• Churches to Officially Rank Potluck Dishes Each Sabbath
  ADVENTIST WORLD --- Potluck dishes at Adventist churches will be officially ranked as of this Sabbath. A church board subcommittee at each congregation will be assigned to pre-taste each dish Read more [...]
  - 27 days ago 24 Jan 19, 2:35pm -
• Mueller Investigation Finds Mustard Stash in GC Basement
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In what has universally been acknowledged as the biggest bust of the operation so far, the Mueller Investigation has discovered what it calls a "robust stash of grade A Read more [...]
  - 34 days ago 17 Jan 19, 6:49pm -
• Biblical Research Institute: Unclear if Government Will Reopen Before Second Coming
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The Biblical Research Institute announced this morning that three weeks of intense study had led the team to conclude that it was unclear what would come first: the reopening Read more [...]
  - 35 days ago 16 Jan 19, 8:25pm -
• Uber Adds “Flee to Hills” Button for Time of Trouble
  SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. --- Ridesharing platform Uber has added a "flee to the hills" button for Adventist customers aiming to escape the Time of Trouble. The firm's leadership said that the button Read more [...]
  - 37 days ago 14 Jan 19, 8:52pm -
• GC Launches “Golden Watches” Alternative to Golden Globes
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The General Conference offices of the Adventist Church announced an Adventist answer to the Golden Globe awards yesterday. The brand new Golden Watch awards will "celebrate Read more [...]
  - 44 days ago 7 Jan 19, 8:55pm -
• WARNING: Brexit Could Have “Terrible Consequences” For Newbold Cafeteria Menu
  BERKSHIRE, England --- In a last-ditch effort to stop Brexit proceedings, Newbold College had warned that the UK's departure from the European Union could have "terrible consequences" on the menu Read more [...]
  - 47 days ago 4 Jan 19, 1:23pm -
• CONFIRMED: Adventists Born With Two Left Feet
  Adventist World: A recently released study by an interdiscipinary team of Loma Linda University faculty has confirmed what many have long suspected: Adventists are born with two left feet. The Read more [...]
  - 48 days ago 3 Jan 19, 10:40pm -

World of Buzz

• nieuwAngry Mother Destroys Daughter’s “Homework-Writing Robot” After Finding It in Her Room
  The post Angry Mother Destroys Daughter’s “Homework-Writing Robot” After Finding It in Her Room appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by re…
  - 1 hour ago 20 Feb 19, 10:48am -
• nieuwWife Asks Husband Who Called Him on Valentine’s Night, He Didn’t Tell Her So She Shot Him
  The post Wife Asks Husband Who Called Him on Valentine’s Night, He Didn’t Tell Her So She Shot Him appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by r…
  - 2 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 9:53am -
• nieuwGF Panics When BF Starts Bleeding, Uses Sanitary Pad to Bandage His Injured Arm
  The post GF Panics When BF Starts Bleeding, Uses Sanitary Pad to Bandage His Injured Arm appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by reproducing WOR…
  - 3 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 9:26am -
• nieuwM’sian Employers Can Actually Put “Prefer Mandarin Speaker” in Job Ads, Here’s Why
  The post M’sian Employers Can Actually Put “Prefer Mandarin Speaker” in Job Ads, Here’s Why appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by repr…
  - 3 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 9:13am -
• nieuwM’sian Man Shocked By Std 3 Student’s Schedule Which Is Even Busier Than an Adult’s
  The post M’sian Man Shocked By Std 3 Student’s Schedule Which Is Even Busier Than an Adult’s appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by repro…
  - 3 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 8:37am -
• nieuw18yo Student Falls into Week-Long Coma & Dies After 19 Schoolmates Beat Him Up
  The post 18yo Student Falls into Week-Long Coma & Dies After 19 Schoolmates Beat Him Up appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by reproducing WORL…
  - 4 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 8:16am -
• nieuw19yo Student Gets Backlash After Sharing First World Problems of Planning Holiday in Japan
  The post 19yo Student Gets Backlash After Sharing First World Problems of Planning Holiday in Japan appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by repr…
  - 6 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 6:20am -
• nieuw“The Crowd Was Just Taking Photos of Him,” Witnesses Share Final Moments With Mohd Adib
  The post “The Crowd Was Just Taking Photos of Him,” Witnesses Share Final Moments With Mohd Adib appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by rep…
  - 6 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 5:55am -
• nieuwM’sian Employees Can Now Compare Salaries with HR Ministry’s New National Wage Index
  The post M’sian Employees Can Now Compare Salaries with HR Ministry’s New National Wage Index appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by reprod…
  - 6 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 5:42am -
• nieuwLoving Husband Quits Smoking So He Can Use Money to Take Wife & Kid on Holiday
  The post Loving Husband Quits Smoking So He Can Use Money to Take Wife & Kid on Holiday appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ. By continuing publishing our materials, you have knowingly infringed our intellectual property and copyrights by reproducing WORL…
  - 7 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 5:19am -

Dave Berry's Blog - Grappig Nieuws

• nieuwTOO BAD HE WASN'T SEATED BENEATH THE SCORPION
  Passenger strips to boxers and removes his socks for duration of flight (Thanks to funny man)
  - 20 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:56pm -
• nieuwNO DOUBT HEADED FOR AUSTRALIA
  Passengers spot giant scorpion crawling out of overhead bin on plane (Thanks to Bob Brogan)
  - 20 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:55pm -
• nieuw'RATHER UNUSUAL STOP'
  Amesbury Police said they responded to a report of drag racing motorcycles in Wiltshire and ended up discovering the bikes were racing against a New Holland T6 175 tractor. (Thanks to Bob Brogan)
  - 20 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:53pm -
• nieuwGERMANY ON HIGH ALERT
  It’s now easier than ever in France to act out “Star Wars” fantasies, because its fencing federation has borrowed from a galaxy far, far away and officially recognized lightsaber dueling as a competitive sport (Thanks to The Perts and Andrew...
  - 20 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:49pm -
• nieuwTHE NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER
  Melbourne mum outraged by ‘willy’ on toy lion (Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)
  - 20 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:47pm -
• nieuwFLORIDA IS ALSO AVAILABLE
  More than 7,000 sign petition to sell Montana to Canada for $1 trillion to pay down national debt "Just tell them it has beavers or something." (Thanks to Howard from Broward)
  - 21 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:27pm -
• nieuwO THE HUMANITY
  Tractor-trailer hauling 40K pounds of broccoli overturns on metro Atlanta interstate (Thanks to Jay Brandes)
  - 21 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 3:12pm -
• IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
  A rattlesnake in Florida ended up in the back of a police car. (Thanks to Tim! Stern)
  - 2 days ago 18 Feb 19, 9:49pm -
• STRONG NAME, DUDE
  Guard alligator ‘El Chompo’ protected drugs for Pennsylvania dealers, prosecutors say
  - 2 days ago 18 Feb 19, 9:47pm -
• SO THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLING THEM THESE DAYS
  10,000 naked men reach out to grab lucky sticks for 2019 (Thanks to funny man)
  - 2 days ago 18 Feb 19, 5:12pm -

News Biscuit - Grappig en Fake News

• nieuwJoan Ryan ruins all “7 dwarfs” jokes. More soon.
  dominic_mcg
  - 32 mins ago 20 Feb 19, 11:29am -
• nieuwPregnant woman leaves extremist group
  'I was young and impressionable. It started when I was reading about Labour on the internet.'
  - 4 hours ago 20 Feb 19, 8:00am -
• nieuwSo now it’s acceptable, if not advisable, to start a sentence with ‘So’: OED
  So according to language experts, it’s now acceptable, if not expected, to start a sentence with ‘so’. ‘So if you start a sentence with the word ‘so’ it sounds like you have a train of thought in mind, even when you don’t. So, what’s…
  - 16 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 7:47pm -
• nieuwAndrew Neil’s hair to step down
  "When you've been sprayed with hairspray everyday for 40 years, you'd find it difficult to change."
  - 20 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 4:00pm -
• nieuwCrystal Palace breakaway players still haven’t decided on new team name
  A spokesman for the new team joked that unless the team also came up with a colour for their strip they will have to play their fixture next week against Chelsea naked.
  - 23 hours ago 19 Feb 19, 1:00pm -
• Three MPs split from the Independent Group. More soon.
  Al OPecia
  - 1 day ago 19 Feb 19, 11:30am -
• Lonely woman in love with Zuckerberg for showing interest in her private data
  For whatever reason, someone was finally interested in my intimate life.
  - 1 day ago 19 Feb 19, 8:00am -
• Anti-racist party promises to protect those of a ‘funny tinge’
  ‘Too long has racism existed on the extreme left and right of politics; whereas it really belongs in the centre’.
  - 2 days ago 18 Feb 19, 4:00pm -

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